Tales of Uncle Ernest – (Continued) Section 5, “The Bird” – Chapter 5

Tales of Uncle Ernest – (Continued)

Section 5, “The Bird” – Chapter 5

Hearing the swing creak, I knew that Uncle Ernest had finally returned, so I descended in a flash, skipped to the porch, and plopped on the swing with a jolt next to a startled Uncle Ernest, who clutched his glass with both hands to keep it from spilling.

“Hold your horses, Moose. Take it easy!"

"Did you really climb that big tower in Baltimore, Unk?"

"You bet I did. But first I borrowed a hunk of lead from one of the fishing boats. You know, the stuff they melt down for sinkers and net weights. It was a chunk about the size of a shot put. Anyhow, with the lead in one hand I climbed the narrow, rusty ladder to the top. I stood upright at the peak and looked all around at the city.

“It was quite a sight, that old city by the harbor. I then looked down the inside of the tower at the dime-sized speck of water at the bottom. Wow, what a long way down! Then I dropped the lead, heard the hollow whoosh, and saw the tiny splash when it hit. Moose, it was like looking through the wrong end of a telescope.”

“Neat!” I yelled. “But weren't you scared up there?”

“Not in the least, Moose, at least not until I saw a huge bird gliding right towards me. As it got closer I could see that it was a gigantic bald eagle. He must have had a twelve-foot wing span, and he had his talons lowered. At his approach I closed my eyes and put my head down. I thought he would cut me in half, but, instead, he scooped his claws under my belt from behind and lifted me high in the air over the city.”

“Unbelievable!” I cried, as my eyes bugged out in amazement. I’m sure you can imagine how I felt, Nina. How could one uncle have so many crazy adventures?

“Well, luckily the belt was sturdy, and luckily that old bird had good aim (although his talons did break the skin where they slid in next to my belt), because I was now about 600 feet above the Chesapeake Bay, headed home in an unexpected way. The eagle hardly knew he had me, for his flight was effortless. It was the best ride I have ever had; he glided smoothly, flapping those majestic wings every so often to maintain his altitude.”

When Uncle Ernest tramped into the house again for a refill, I just sat there with my eyes and mouth wide open—mesmerized. But suddenly, before I knew it, a black, noisy cloud-mass surged low overhead, so I grabbed my BB gun and started firing up into it. Well, Nina, I didn’t hit even one of those pesky starlings, but I did get them to swoop the other way and stop, momentarily, the racket they made. There were thousands of them chirping in unison as they flowed in undulating waves across the sky. Night was approaching, and they were headed to the deep woods to roost.

When Uncle Ernest returned, I was already on the swing, ready for him to resume. After a grateful pull on his glass, he continued. “Yep, Moose, I was helpless up there, but I got the feeling that I wasn’t prey, but just an oddity; he was having some fun after a long day of hunting. Before long I could see him descending in the direction of a large sycamore tree that was rooted into the bank of an island. And, to my amazement, he placed me right down into a massive nest that was constructed in the top of that tree.

“Then he flew off somewhere in a hurry, wings buffeting the air with such force that I almost fell out of the nest. His two eaglets—fledglings about the size of pullets—started squawking at me like mad, so I had to quiet them by making a goose head with my hand as I honked like a Canada. When they settled down I took a snickers bar from my pocket, broke it in half, and gave it to them. I had picked up a few bars from that Baltimore soup kitchen, Moose, because I knew they'd come in handy sometime.

“Well, my goodness, I don’t think that they had ever had any sweets before, because they gulped that candy down, stretched their necks, tilted their heads from side to side a few times, came over and perched on my shoulders—one on my left and one on my right—and rubbed their beaks affectionately on the sides of my neck. Geez, what an odd feeling that was! Good Heavens, Moose, I had made two great, new friends. Fowl they may have been, but I think of them fondly till this day.

“But, as you know, all good things come to an end, for as I was showing them some hand tricks (they especially liked it when I took my thumb off and pretended to put it in their mouths), the eagle returned with his mate and I could tell that they had been arguing. He was docile as could be, bobbing his head up and down in compliance. She, however, with feathers rising and falling at the top of her neck, and beak snapping furiously, was squawking at him at a high volume.

“All of a sudden he seized me by the belt again and snatched me out of there with such force that I had whiplash for a week. Surprised? Sure I was, Moose, but, as we ascended, the two eaglets were perched high on the edge of their nest, waving their wings at me. Naturally I waved back and, Moose, this doesn’t happen to me very often, but, believe it or not, my eyes moistened momentarily. As we soared up the bay, however, I was soothed by the beauty of the view. In those days the bay wasn’t polluted as it is now, so I could see schools of rock fish and other aquatic creatures.”  [To be continued Tuesday, 4/10/2012]